Bargains with God

It actually started before the two youngest were born.  Their parents were constantly drinking, doing drugs and living in little hell holes.  My father calls my brother a "working alcoholic", he knows how much to drink during the week and still get to work in the morning and don't mess with him on weekends as that is when he will black out.  His girlfriend also was using and drinking and she had a three year old who could hardly speak and rarely got out unless her very drugged up grandmother came to get her.
That is how they were before they had children and that is how it stayed only it got harder and harder to contain it once they had my dear little Athen.
The week that Athen was born, I had a dream.  (it often starts with a dream for me) I was taking Athen to Kindergarten and I knew she was mine.  I woke up very upset and told God, " I would never take a child from their parents.  People are put together in families to grow and aid each other on this earth and to me Parents and children are necessary for that growth." I then said, the only way I would ever try to do that is if she was put right in my lap".
Athen was a Meth baby.  She was in the ICU.  My daughter and I went to visit and when you go into one of those rooms where all of the children are suffering, it can floor you.  There is much pain and anger, I believe from a child who has to go through the agony of being weaned off of drugs.  They give them Morphine and then they wait till the pain reaches a certain threshold and then they administer it again.  This happens for each child differently.  For Athen it was 2 months.   I would see Athen once a month on weekends till After they came home from the rehab place, for mothers and their children. I didn't see Athen again until we were at a shower for my sister where Athen's mom was already under the influence again, barely able to converse at the party.  I think that is also where I learned that my sister - in- law ( by that time) was expecting again.  She would have had to have gotten pregnant while in the rehab place.  A place where no men are allowed.

I was at the wedding festivities of my niece when I received a call from my brother.  He was crying and saying," I don't care if you want to adopt her or foster her, just come and get Athen." The state had come into their home, breaking open the door and all of the drama that accompanies that and taken both daughters.  I knew then that God was setting something in motion. I had told him my conditions and he was meeting them.  My brother had just put her in my lap.